Round 17: Whiskey DT Sinks 200 Feet of Putts, and the Season Race Is Officially Tied

Round 17 was 1 Net 1 Gross on the Dutch Red/White (par 71) — one gross ball and one net ball counting per hole, so every team is playing against a 142 basis and every hole needs somebody to be a hero twice. Nineteen players, five teams, the smallest field since April, and a night that belonged almost entirely to a man and his putter.

It had been three weeks since anybody posted a score — Round 16 got rained out on August 20, and August 27 was a scheduled night off — so the field came back rusty, sunburned, and in at least one case swinging like the clubs had been rented that afternoon. Let's get into it.

🥃 Whiskey DT Sank Over 200 Feet of Putts

Let the record show: Dave Thomes holed more than 200 feet of putts on Thursday. Two hundred feet. That's most of the way down a par 3. That's a putter that should be taken in for questioning.

The scorecard tells the story in the negative space. Thomes shot 83 gross — a round with seven bogeys in it, which is to say a round where he was in trouble constantly — and turned it into seven pars, a birdie, and a net 68. That is not ball-striking. That is a man walking onto every green in the wrong spot and rolling it in anyway. He also stuffed a deuce on the 15th for good measure.

Net 68 was low net of the night, by a full shot over Neitzke. And it wasn't a fluke — it's the fourth time in six weeks Whiskey DT has posted a net 68 or better (66, 67, 67, 68). The handicap has come down from a 17 in April to a 15, and it is still not enough to slow him down. The rest of you should be nervous.

🏆 The Winners: 128 and It Wasn't Close

Ryan Neitzke, Michael Martin, Dave Thomes, and Sam Geraets posted 128 (-14) and won by seven shots. In a 1-Net-1-Gross format, the fastest way to win is to have the low gross man and the low net man on the same team — and this team had literally both of them. Neitzke handled the gross ball, Thomes handled the net ball, and Martin and Geraets filled in the gaps. Ten points apiece, and a comfortable walk in.

1st — 128 (-14): Neitzke, Martin, Thomes, S. Geraets
2nd — 135 (-7): Hoppe, Pion, Ferguson
3rd — 136 (-6): Bender, Steele, Davidge, B. Miller
T4 — 141 (-1): Sourdiff, LePage, Anderson, Moser
T4 — 141 (-1): Dahl, Motschenbacher, Jackovich, Ostrowski

🎯 Low Gross, Low Net

Low gross — Ryan Neitzke, 72. One over par with four birdies and ten pars. The best round on the property and the engine of the winning team.
Low net — Dave Thomes, 68. See above. Bring a tape measure.
Jim Bender and Peter Dahl both shot 74. Bender did it the calm way — twelve pars and two deuces — while Dahl did it the violent way, four birdies and five bogeys, out in 39 and home in 35.
Most birdies: Neitzke and Dahl, four apiece. David Anderson had three.

💰 Six Deuces, No Ace, $3,481

The par 3s gave up six twos on Thursday, and Jim Bender got two of them himself — the 9th and the 11th, back-to-back par 3s handled like a man collecting a debt. Jared Hoppe and David Anderson both deuced the 7th, Luke Ostrowski got the 9th, and Thomes took the 15th.

Six balls that finished inside a few feet of immortality, and not one of them went in the hole. So the H1O pot rolls on to $3,481 — the largest it has ever been, and now genuinely life-improving money sitting on five tee boxes every Thursday. Three weeks left to end this thing.

🤕 The Hall of Pain

Jason Jackovich — 106. Six holes of triple bogey or worse, a 51 out and a 55 back. Off a 21 handicap that's still a net 85, which is the golf equivalent of getting a participation trophy at your own funeral. He'll be back.
Barney Miller — 93, with a 50 on the back nine. Barney turned in 43 and looked fine. Then the back nine happened: a triple at 14, a six on the par-3 17th, and an eight at the last. Fifteen rounds played this season — nobody in this league shows up more, and Thursday the game showed up without him.
Luke Ostrowski — 89 with two birdies in it. Including a deuce. He also made three triples. Luke's card looks like two completely different men signed it.

🤝 Season Standings: Dead Heat at the Top

Seventeen rounds in, best 8 count, and Thursday rearranged the entire podium. Tate Motschenbacher walked in as the season leader, shot 86, and walked out in a tie for third — passed by two men in a single night.

Ryan Neitzke — 70 (was 3rd on 65; that low-gross 72 and ten points vaulted him into a share of the lead)
Dave Thomes — 70 (was 2nd on 66; the putter did this)
Tate Motschenbacher — 68 (was 1st on 68 — held serve, got passed)
Michael Martin — 68
Mark Pietig — 62
Charlie Geraets — 59
Jayme Steele & Jason Jackovich — 58

Two men tied at 70, two more tied two back at 68. Four players, three rounds, and any one of them can win this. The Team Points race has not been this tight all season.

📊 The Other Two Trophies

Net Avg — Thomes and Tate went into Thursday dead tied at 69.63. Thomes' net 68 broke the tie clean:

Dave Thomes — 68.88
Tate Motschenbacher — 69.63
Justin Heitkamp — 70.25
Mark Pietig & Jared Hoppe — 70.38

Gross Avg — untouched Thursday, because the man who leads it wasn't there:

Justin Heitkamp — 73.00
Peter Dahl — 73.38
Jared Hoppe — 74.50
Ryan Neitzke — 75.63

⛳ Next Up

Round 18 goes Thursday, September 10 — three left, including this one. The pot is $3,481, the Team Points race is a four-man scrap separated by two shots, Whiskey DT has apparently made a deal at a crossroads somewhere, and Tate needs to answer quickly. Somebody knock one in and let's all retire.